I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
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