If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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