this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize