There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
