weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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