About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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