Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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