I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
