think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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