Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
