Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
