Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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