It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
honey bunches of taint.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
