Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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