Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
