I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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