If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
should my penis look like a turkey
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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