I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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