Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
