My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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