You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Randomize
