I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Drake has all the answers
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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