it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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