yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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