Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
