after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
nutella sex= disaster
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
