I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
