that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
