Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We are two peas in an std pod
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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