Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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