Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
