I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I puked a lego.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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