I wish my penis had an off switch
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
