God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
