laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
