Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
