she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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