bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
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