i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Dear god my vagina.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
