Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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