I think i peed on brittanys purse
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
a search helicopter?!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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