I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
