She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
My balls are so social today.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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