Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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