your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
