I can text with my tongue
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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