i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
