He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
