also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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