mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize