just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
