You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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