The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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