And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
