So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I love having hate sex.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
