It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Randomize
