I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
