I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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