naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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