Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
