The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
