Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
