So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
